One Man Army (and a savior with a shot gun)

[Girod]

NEW AND IMPROVED VESION


It was suppose to be a short Springer battle on the dunes. My team split and gave out my order to resort on guerrilla warfare. But the other force stayed in 3 man groups. I spotted one group of them I waited in a bush. For their expecting me to become K.I.A. Then after one shot 1 was down. SUddenly a hail of bullets came flying my way. So then quickly I retreated back to a brush pile. But by all luck they didn’t see me then I popped up and shot “click” . then more plastic death flew at my body I laid there pretending to be dead. They totally bought it forgeting that I had not yell "down" or "out" they the cheaked my corps. Then I shot up and grabbed one of them. Gun at his head. my advantage was him not knowing that I was out of ammo. I pushed him into the last guy of the squad knocking them both on the ground. I made break for it jumping the fence the bullets whizzing passed my head. I looked back to see my pursuers cross the fence. then i witnessed the best part. My former hostage sliped on the fence and ram his balls. He then collapsed and just laied there. Last squad man running as fast as possible suddenly dropped dead. I look up and there like an angel is my savior with a shotgun. I then find a deck on the dunes to hide under and reload.
Later me and my shotgun wielding savior wait for the rest of them in the bushes for 45 min, it was now 10:45, dark, and we we're in camouflage. We have seen the enemy for 20:00 min. Then one man got so close he stepped on my leg then I knew it was time to go. I charged out shot him twice then tackled him using his dead body for cover bullets. Round after round ramming into his body. Then my last teammate slaughtered one man in the squad. Forcing the last man standing to surrender our victory ;D




Sergeant Rock

[Munin]

Thanks for that nearly indecipherable drivel.

[xaos]

Wow. All that text and only four periods, three of which were part of an abbreviation.

That's gotta be some sort of record.

[Girod]

I see you like my punctuation

[Damo/DK]

Why are people so critical of grammer and punctuation. I think most of these people go on the forums not to write essays, but to relax. Anyway, I liked the story, worthy of my time

[Orion]

1. It's a hell of a lot easier to read with correct punctuation.

2. It makes you seem like less of an idiot.

3. It's not THAT hard to actually use punctuation. People are just lazy.


We come to forums to read, not play word search.


BACK ON TOPIC:However I did understand the story, sounds like you had fun, which is good.

[xaos]

DamoDK said:

Why are people so critical of grammer and punctuation. I think most of these people go on the forums not to write essays, but to relax. Anyway, I liked the story, worthy of my time

Irillydon'tkar2reedstufflikeasthispostthatsnearlyimpossabletodecifer

Do we really need to have this discussion again? Mistakes, typos, mistakes in grammar...it's all well and good so long as an attempt is made. Here, obviously, there was no attempt whatsoever made. This is just a person who's too damned lazy to hit the period key (it's the one next to the comma, which itself is right next to the "m" key) at the end of his sentences.

[Girod]

i fixed it! Reread if you want. sry for my Laziness

[Livonia]

it was good, but i didnt really understand how you grabbed the guy and threw him at his teamates..

[Damo/DK]

You kinda blew it out of proportion with no spaces, it was legible.

[Knief]

I think we need to have an MiA writing class.

Sergeantrock,

Over-using periods can be just as bad as under-using them. There are other weapons in English's repertoire of punctuation, the comma being a very useful bit. While you want to be clear and concise, variation in sentence structure makes your story more interesting to read.

Instead of "Then after one shot 1 was down. Suddenly a hail of bullets came flying my way," try "It only took one shot to bring down the first tango, but the sound triggered a hail of plastic soaring in my direction."

---

Damo, it really wasn't legible. Without periods, a post that long makes absolutely no sense as all, especially written in the voice that it's in. Punctuation exists for a reason, and it's not just to make your teachers happy. Without punctuation your sentences can take on any number of meanings. Check it out.

Who do you think I saw the other day the president said Mike
That could be either

"Who do you think I saw the other day?" the president said. "Mike!"
or
"Who do you think I saw the other day? The President!" said Mike.

If you need more examples of why punctuation is important, I'm sure I can provide them. This has nothing to do with writing formally or informally, it has to do with showing a little bit of effort on your part to help us understand you better.

[Gestapo]

great story but what kind of gun were you carrying.

my favorite prt was when the guy who was chasing you rammed his balls on the fence... poor bastard

[Girod]

I was using a Desert Egale, the guy who rammed his ball had a Smith wesion Heavy Weight, and the other two had Sig Saurs. Sry about my speling I'm in a hurry. ;D

[Gimpy]

Springer battle eh? Sounded fun. I bet they thought you were cheating when you laid there pretending to be dead, and then magicaly popped up and ran off.

But still, sounded like fun...

[Girod]

Thats what I thought, but I never yelled out so they knew I didn't cheat. But what really suprised me is they always complain and yet they never gave me crap for pulling that.