Post by Jeff on Apr 5, 2012 8:55:55 GMT -5
Valor is commonly understood to mean courage in the face of danger; strength of spirit that allows one to take action in the face of fear or intimidation. Last year, I bore witness to such an act.
Before this tale is told, to fully appreciate this act of valor (or for that matter our sport), some context seems appropriate.
We live in a time of immediate, individual gratification. Fast food, fast technology, instant downloads, and overnight mail are the order of the day. Yet our sport rewards planning, impulse control, coordinated efforts, and teamwork.
We live in a time when it has become far too easy to prevaricate, dishonor commitments, and simply lie to each other if the risk of getting caught is low. Yet our sport is premised on a quintessential honor code - we each call our own hits.
We live in a time when people email/text each other instead of meeting/talking. The "online" and "virtual" are becoming more common than the up-close and personal. As a society, we are losing our ability to relate to others, to communicate effectively, and to resolve disputes. Yet our sport demands this of us....... Which brings me back to my tale...
Imagine you are in total darkness. The kind of darkness that can only be achieved in a windowless basement of a winery, when every light has been extinguished. You know they are coming. You can't see them. You can hardly hear them over the sound of your own breathing, but you know they are coming. You hear the death of others in the distance, and you know they will now be coming for you as well. You swore you would never again expose yourself to the dark, point-blank nature of a zombie hunt, yet here you are......
And then it happened - the loud moan of someone in pain. Not someone feigning an injury, the real thing. The yelling. Raw, uncensored anger was met with some nervous laughter, and then more yelling, louder, with intensity. Even in the total darkness of the Winery, it wasn’t difficult to imagine what was happening ......
In the bright light of the staging area, it became more obvious. An angry man with a bloody face. He was angry about being shot at arm's length. He was angry about being shot in the face. He was livid about the laughter from his assailant. The more his face bled, the more pissed he became.
As the game ended and others returned to the staging area, the shooter walked in. He was a smallish kid, with a buddy, each under 16. It didn’t take long for the conflict to resume. The man with the bloody face charged them, he was fuming. As he confronted them, they reacted by arguing. It got ugly. The young men lacked the experience to say it was an accident, that their laughter was born of fear and nerves. The bloody man was pissed, and his assailants were making it worse by arguing with him. I've seen this before – they convinced themselves that he would beat them to a pulp if they admitted they were wrong, so they tried to defend themselves, they argued. The room got quiet as it looked like he would either slap them or shoot them each in the face with the pistol in his hands. Instead, he shouted them down. They flinched with every hand gesture (he literally towered over them). They seemed relieved when he finally stomped away to pack up his gear.
With the room still quiet, someone pointed out to the young men that when you accidentally harm someone, the "right" thing to do is apologize and shake the person's hand. They acted like they didn't hear it. It was obvious that the last thing they wanted to do is approach him – his rage remained present; he certainly would have erupted if they used the wrong words. Further, he intentionally was not packing up his pistol. He clearly wanted to use it...to settle the score.
As the man packed his gear, still bleeding, still fuming, it was pointed out to the young men that while a prompt apology is preferred, it is NEVER too late to do the "right" thing. The realization that there was something left to be done started to sink in, you could see it on their faces. I still remember the look on the young man's face - I've seen it before on my kids many times -- a combination of fear and dread. He shook his head "no" while his buddy nudged him to go over and apologize.
The kid was clearly nervous. He supposed what the bloody man really wanted was to shoot HIM in the face...and he was right. He was unsure about the reaction of a man twice his size, a man he had managed to shoot in the face and then bicker with. The young man walked across the cavernous staging area with his hand extended. He decided to trust someone he didn’t know and risk doing the “right” thing. Reluctant and fearful, he apologized, and he meant it. The kid wasn’t just trying to get out of a jam, he was doing his best to man-up.
The kid’s hand was hanging in the air, unmet, for what seemed like an eternity. The rage hadn’t subsided, and the bloody man, for a moment, still harbored resentment, still preferred to settle things by inflicting the same pain that was visited upon him. As they stared at each other, one arm extended, the kid had the good sense to remain silent. He had said he was sorry, and had genuinely meant it. So he stood there, silently, with his hand extended, prepared to accept his fate. After about 15 seconds (but seemed like an eternity at the time), the bloody man’s rage melted and the apology was accepted -- because it was sincere.
I lack the eloquence to describe it, but given the tension created in the darkness and the rage expressed in the staging area, there was truly something remarkable about this young man realizing he had not acted properly, and then having the courage to make things right, regardless of the consequences.
The kid learned an adult lesson. He learned to exercise greater caution and pay attention to the safety of others (and not just focus on immediate, individual gratification). He learned how to resolve a dispute, in person, eye-to eye (not via text/email). He learned the power of sincerity when apologizing, and how to accept an apology with grace. He learned how to man-up and act with integrity, under pressure. In brief, I saw his character get tested, and he passed.
In my opinion, he acted with valor.
P.S. Mods, if this is too crappy a tale, please don't ban me, just delete it.
Cheers,
Jeff
Before this tale is told, to fully appreciate this act of valor (or for that matter our sport), some context seems appropriate.
We live in a time of immediate, individual gratification. Fast food, fast technology, instant downloads, and overnight mail are the order of the day. Yet our sport rewards planning, impulse control, coordinated efforts, and teamwork.
We live in a time when it has become far too easy to prevaricate, dishonor commitments, and simply lie to each other if the risk of getting caught is low. Yet our sport is premised on a quintessential honor code - we each call our own hits.
We live in a time when people email/text each other instead of meeting/talking. The "online" and "virtual" are becoming more common than the up-close and personal. As a society, we are losing our ability to relate to others, to communicate effectively, and to resolve disputes. Yet our sport demands this of us....... Which brings me back to my tale...
Imagine you are in total darkness. The kind of darkness that can only be achieved in a windowless basement of a winery, when every light has been extinguished. You know they are coming. You can't see them. You can hardly hear them over the sound of your own breathing, but you know they are coming. You hear the death of others in the distance, and you know they will now be coming for you as well. You swore you would never again expose yourself to the dark, point-blank nature of a zombie hunt, yet here you are......
And then it happened - the loud moan of someone in pain. Not someone feigning an injury, the real thing. The yelling. Raw, uncensored anger was met with some nervous laughter, and then more yelling, louder, with intensity. Even in the total darkness of the Winery, it wasn’t difficult to imagine what was happening ......
In the bright light of the staging area, it became more obvious. An angry man with a bloody face. He was angry about being shot at arm's length. He was angry about being shot in the face. He was livid about the laughter from his assailant. The more his face bled, the more pissed he became.
As the game ended and others returned to the staging area, the shooter walked in. He was a smallish kid, with a buddy, each under 16. It didn’t take long for the conflict to resume. The man with the bloody face charged them, he was fuming. As he confronted them, they reacted by arguing. It got ugly. The young men lacked the experience to say it was an accident, that their laughter was born of fear and nerves. The bloody man was pissed, and his assailants were making it worse by arguing with him. I've seen this before – they convinced themselves that he would beat them to a pulp if they admitted they were wrong, so they tried to defend themselves, they argued. The room got quiet as it looked like he would either slap them or shoot them each in the face with the pistol in his hands. Instead, he shouted them down. They flinched with every hand gesture (he literally towered over them). They seemed relieved when he finally stomped away to pack up his gear.
With the room still quiet, someone pointed out to the young men that when you accidentally harm someone, the "right" thing to do is apologize and shake the person's hand. They acted like they didn't hear it. It was obvious that the last thing they wanted to do is approach him – his rage remained present; he certainly would have erupted if they used the wrong words. Further, he intentionally was not packing up his pistol. He clearly wanted to use it...to settle the score.
As the man packed his gear, still bleeding, still fuming, it was pointed out to the young men that while a prompt apology is preferred, it is NEVER too late to do the "right" thing. The realization that there was something left to be done started to sink in, you could see it on their faces. I still remember the look on the young man's face - I've seen it before on my kids many times -- a combination of fear and dread. He shook his head "no" while his buddy nudged him to go over and apologize.
The kid was clearly nervous. He supposed what the bloody man really wanted was to shoot HIM in the face...and he was right. He was unsure about the reaction of a man twice his size, a man he had managed to shoot in the face and then bicker with. The young man walked across the cavernous staging area with his hand extended. He decided to trust someone he didn’t know and risk doing the “right” thing. Reluctant and fearful, he apologized, and he meant it. The kid wasn’t just trying to get out of a jam, he was doing his best to man-up.
The kid’s hand was hanging in the air, unmet, for what seemed like an eternity. The rage hadn’t subsided, and the bloody man, for a moment, still harbored resentment, still preferred to settle things by inflicting the same pain that was visited upon him. As they stared at each other, one arm extended, the kid had the good sense to remain silent. He had said he was sorry, and had genuinely meant it. So he stood there, silently, with his hand extended, prepared to accept his fate. After about 15 seconds (but seemed like an eternity at the time), the bloody man’s rage melted and the apology was accepted -- because it was sincere.
I lack the eloquence to describe it, but given the tension created in the darkness and the rage expressed in the staging area, there was truly something remarkable about this young man realizing he had not acted properly, and then having the courage to make things right, regardless of the consequences.
The kid learned an adult lesson. He learned to exercise greater caution and pay attention to the safety of others (and not just focus on immediate, individual gratification). He learned how to resolve a dispute, in person, eye-to eye (not via text/email). He learned the power of sincerity when apologizing, and how to accept an apology with grace. He learned how to man-up and act with integrity, under pressure. In brief, I saw his character get tested, and he passed.
In my opinion, he acted with valor.
P.S. Mods, if this is too crappy a tale, please don't ban me, just delete it.
Cheers,
Jeff